"The me of today"
1
1
movements flow naturally, no need to think
eyes closed, listening to my breath
my body naturally leans more towards the right sideI feel a heavy shoulder, arm, and hand
and gravity slowly pulls me down
drop to the ground
eyes still closed, start breathing faster
on my toes and leaning on my hands
opposition of fast breath and body inactivity
energy is building up in my feet and fingers
my fingers move, explore the space
growing motion
rocking from my feet to my hands
hyperventilation
Whoop!
I get up in one go, the breathing stops
exploring the room, fast-paced, walking through the big space around me - I knew where I was going, but I didn't know where I would end up - no connection between me and the others in the room - the walking becomes slower and slower, a circular path - becoming smaller with each turn, until I turn around myself
reach out for the floor
still looking for my destination
a lot of energy in my arms and fingers
lugging me forward
investigating the space
looking to come to a halt
presentation of exploration through body memory
"A New Lens"
2
remember softly, do not force it
find the state of the first "me"
find one word remembering the piece
the new creative layer of research
a lost previous "me"
disturbed
tired
angry
confused
estranged
disconnected
alien/alienated
on my knees, back to the audience
head down
slowly my toes are moving
the right leg explores the empty area around me
slowly, curiously and mindful
retreat
closing in on myself
another space in the room
same position, facing the audience
same idea of movements
with left fingers and arm
stretch out, reach out
pulled back to safety
come up with a task for your fellow dancer based on our word
"You are a puzzle piece! In front of you, you see a completed puzzle."
my task for Helena
"You are a bird. And you carry your fledgling in your mouth. At some point, you injure one of your wings!"
given task by Ioanna
I pictured myself in my nest with my fledglings - waking up, ready to fetch some food - position of a mother - caring - protecting.
exploration of the movements of arms
imagining to have wings
keep human features
a rediscovering of a long lost part of me
wonderful
exploring the big empty space
injury, a broken wing
irrational behavior
new stimulus
Comment on Helena's interpretation of my task
not a "struggle" as I had expected - a calm drawing of the puzzle piece with her feet - looking for boundaries - approaching the completed puzzle with composure - looking for a place within
inspiration: specific hand movement at the end, placing the hand around the space, gently but with a purpose
not a "struggle" as I had expected - a calm drawing of the puzzle piece with her feet - looking for boundaries - approaching the completed puzzle with composure - looking for a place within
inspiration: specific hand movement at the end, placing the hand around the space, gently but with a purpose
"Archaeology of Knowledge"
3
revisit each layer, mentally or physically
explore them together, individually or partially
add a part from the interpretation of your task
Helena's hand motion
contouring the floor (but instead of using my feet I used my hands)
toes and fingers investigate the space
How far can I go?
Do I belong there?
Am I permitted there?
4 layers
original - trace - reflection of someone else's task - interpretation of somebody else's work
on my knees, back facing the audience
exploring the empty space with toes
pull back, hide it in my safe position
hands contour the floor
drawing an imaginary safe space
one hand takes the risk of leaving the safe space - the other one tries to catch it immediately to bring it back to its hideout
turn, facing audience
playing catch with my hand
constant focus on moving hand
dilemma
curiosity and fear of the unknown
bigger and faster movements
empty space as a canvas
During my break I did not attend classes. I did not blog. I shunned human interaction and movement altogether. I needed to be by myself and deal with my injury on my own.
I needed distance and solitude.
I come back and I feel like I have missed out on a lot. Everybody seems to have forged their path towards a final solo piece. And I feel not only like I have to start from scratch; I have to find a way around my physical and mental obstacles.
I just let my body do its thing. I moved more than I should. But it felt so good to let go...
brainstorming for my project:
original - trace - reflection of someone else's task - interpretation of somebody else's work
on my knees, back facing the audience
exploring the empty space with toes
pull back, hide it in my safe position
hands contour the floor
drawing an imaginary safe space
one hand takes the risk of leaving the safe space - the other one tries to catch it immediately to bring it back to its hideout
turn, facing audience
playing catch with my hand
constant focus on moving hand
dilemma
curiosity and fear of the unknown
bigger and faster movements
empty space as a canvas
"Artistic Dialogue"
4
Jean-Michel Basquiat
a prevailing abstraction that speaks to the alienation and intense existential angst of living in the world under repressive circumstances - a social commentary on racial segregation and alienation
distortion of human physiognomy - distortion as part of a complex system of resemblance - distortion to establish an individual voice within a flow of potential voices and identities - distortion addressing identity shaped by social, political and cultural world
suggestive dichotomies
"Into the Dark World of Lost Identities"
5
USE OF BODY COLOR?
"The body, The Pain"
6
Although I feel lost as a person, I kind of had an idea of where my solo was going. Basquiat and the other artists gave me different glimpses, different movement fragments that I wanted to connect - or NOT connect - together.
My movements were supposed to reflect a struggle.
A struggle of identity?
A struggle with society?
A struggle of existence?
strong movements - quick - change of pace - change of direction - close to the body - exploring the whole space
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KNEE INJURY
I feel pain all around my knee
my knee is swollen
bruised
I cannot walk properly, I am limping, but even this causes pain. The visit to the doctor was not very pleasant: the meniscus is affected - need an MRI. The pain is exhausting me, draining me, depressing me. Many of my projects and classes require me to move. A lot. And now I am supposed to have a break. Not move my leg. As little as possible. I feel like my world is collapsing.
What will I do? What can I do?
"Break Time"
I am not sleeping well. Whatever position I take, my knee hurts. And if I feel somewhat comfortable, my mind travels. And I wonder...
The pain is getting worse. Will I need surgery? Can I continue my classes this semester? What are my alternatives? Do I like these alternatives?
I try to come up with a solution. What if I use my injury to my advantage? Maybe I can work with it like I would with a task: "Do not use your left leg!"
It seems like this could be a possible alternative.
But the pain is really getting worse. And I cannot not use my leg all day long. For each class I need to run to a different part of the campus. Sitting down is painful as well. Even if I try to picture myself doing a choreography without my left leg, I feel depressed and I want to cry. I just cannot see it happening. I feel like shouting! The pain takes over! Everything is dominated by the pain.
I cannot think clearly!
"Back to work"
7
During my break I did not attend classes. I did not blog. I shunned human interaction and movement altogether. I needed to be by myself and deal with my injury on my own.
I needed distance and solitude.
I come back and I feel like I have missed out on a lot. Everybody seems to have forged their path towards a final solo piece. And I feel not only like I have to start from scratch; I have to find a way around my physical and mental obstacles.
protecting my body
not moving the leg?
using bubble wrap?
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Check Youtube History
always full of old-new things to discover
site-specific work by
Noémie Lafrance
OAKA, Athens Olympc Stadium
used for video material - actual site-specific work - projected during the live performance
live feed of marc's eye
my performance will be transmitted live to the studio in Kenyon - zoom in on one eye - reaction to my movements
live performance based on Marc's space
live performance will be inspired by the setting of Marc's space if possible
Development of Idea and Inspiration
using the construction at OAKA to climb
hang upside down
obstacle
Marc's Space - First Impression
THOUGHTS
I like that my space is outdoors and Mar's space is indoors. At first sight, they might not have much in common, but I feel a connection. In both spaces you have the possibility to go up and down. To get lost. To become trapped. Kind of like an abstract or a stylized version of a maze.
Where are we trapped?
Why are we trapped?
Who does this to us?
Is there an exit?
CHANGE OF SPACE
Due to a lot of rain, I could not use my space they way I had envisaged...at least not without catching a cold. The risk was too high. So I decided to change location. Where do I feel trapped? Or where did I use to feel trapped when I was younger?
A few things came to my mind
The Bed
The Car
The Basement
The Elevator
Possible Music
Glenn Branca
LIVE FEED NO LONGER POSSIBLE EITHER DUE TO TECHNICAL ISSUES
LIVE FEED NO LONGER POSSIBLE EITHER DUE TO TECHNICAL ISSUES
We thought that we can create a single video that is composed of both our site-specific pieces. But what links them together? Is one piece the representation of the other person's thoughts? That could work. All put under the umbrella of the ever-present eye: the eye of society, the eye of the status quo, the eye of your self.
Resistance. A struggle against constructed concepts. A struggle against inflicted fears. A struggle with your self. Resistance.
Written Documentation and Evaluation
I wanted to chose a space outdoors. I have been dancing most of my life within a dance studio, and I always felt that space is important. I feel connected to a space. Or disconnected (like our Pierce Theatre). I feel inspired by a space. And I seem to be more inspired and more creative outdoors than indoors. For example, whenever I had my art class outdoors, I had so many things to look at, so many things to observe that I could get lost within a world of ideas. I felt freedom. And for my writing classes I had a similar experience: there are so many details to observe that lead to something new which can easily generate an idea or a new train of thought. Hence, my idea of choosing an outdoor space. Why OAKA? Because it is one of the first spaces in Athens that I passed by with the train. And it reminded me of a construction in London. Which was also a construction that I passed by with the DLR almost daily, from BOW to STRATFORD. Both reminded me of a rollercoaster. Or possible rollercoasters. So this space caught my eye 3 years ago. And I always wanted to explore it in more detail. Climb up there and enjoy the view. And hang upside down.
The idea that developed from this space was to use it as an obstacle. It is big and long. If I stand at the end of it, I don’t see the beginning. If I want to be up, I need to climb the construction. That takes effort. And courage. And if I climb, I will not just climb in one specific way. I will climb “inside” and “outside” of the construction. Which makes me think of extreme sports. And the danger these people face while free-climbing. But also the freedom that these people experience by pushing their limits. So, the OAKA construction as an obstacle leading to possible freedom?
But I also wanted to link the piece to a more social context. If I am seeking freedom, why is that? Do I feel any constraints? What makes me feel like that? The obvious answer for me was that I don’t feel like I am part of the mainstream society. A mainstream that has created a distorted image of self, a distorted image of the human species, and a distorted image of the world. So if I want to break free, it is because of socially constructed boundaries that I try to avoid but cannot always manage to avoid. If you live in a specific society, you have to live by a specific set of unwritten rules. Or you are an outcast. Which works for some people. But it is hard. It is linked to solitude. Extreme solitude. So what if there is a way to compromise. Find a way to negotiate with the mainstream. And with yourself. How does that affect you? Don’t you feel like every move is under scrutiny?
This thought process lead to the idea of the eye. The ever-present eye. How could this be visualized? I remembered a picture of an eye that I had seen recently, it was a close-up, with a blue filter, and kind of distorted. But it was still obvious that it was an eye. So I thought that Marc could record his eye and this could be projected in the Blackbox while I was dancing. Or better even, have a live transmission. Is this technically possible? We will find out…
Marc really liked the idea of the eye, and he thought that he might use it for his work as well. The space he had chosen was the Theatre at Kenyon. He said that he wanted to use the space above and underneath, which is kind of like a maze. I couldn’t really picture the space until he sent me some pictures. I loved it. The darkness of the space. The many stairs. The many levels. And the bridge, of course. I felt that it worked well with the space I had chosen. The construction as a web of steel, a maze of steel. And I liked the contrast of indoors and outdoors. Dark and light.
However, along the way, we encountered some difficulties. Busy schedules, time difference, our daily lives. Who would have thought that!? But bigger issues became technical issues and weather issues. Obviously, since my chosen space was outside, and big, I needed someone to record me. I have a good friend with whom I have already collaborated before, and he was willing to help me. Yet he was only available one day. And guess what, that day it had rained so much, that it was impossible to shoot the piece. I had been to OAKA and had already chosen a few spots to shoot, but they all required me to hold the bars and climb. Even with gloves this would become a very dangerous exploration. And the lack of light due to the dark clouds could also become a problem, let a lone the risk of damaging the camera. So I decided with a heavy heart to change location. Where will I go now? It definitely has to be somewhere inside. And it should still work somehow with the original idea of creating an obstacle, a problem, and of course with Marc’s space.
So I thought about where I encounter a difficulty in my daily life. I thought of the escalators in the metro stations. I try to avoid using them because I am not very fond of them. I am always scared that my trousers might get stuck somehow. And I already managed to fall on them when I was travelling, which was a dreadful experience. But I wondered if I was allowed to film inside the metro station without permission. To avoid this trouble, I decided to let go of the idea. What scared me as a child? My bed, that was for sure. Or to be precise, the duvet. But we already have a duet that focuses on the bed. So what else? After a few moments, I remembered an incident that happened as a child: I got stuck in an elevator with my younger cousins and it took the firemen two full hours to liberate us. Perfect. This space is not only a space where I have already had a terrifying experience, but it is also a metaphorical space for suffocation, fear, claustrophobia, or a trap.
When I informed Marc that I had no material to share with him because of the weather condition, he suggested to maybe find a space that implies the opposite of his. At that point however, I had already started exploring the possibility of using an elevator, so I shared this idea with him. “Since I had the idea of the eye, a panopticon, and thought of using my original space as a trap, or something along these lines, constructed by myself as a result of the constant scrutiny of society, a lack of being able to become who we are due to social constructs, oppression, judgement, and the space being the visual representation of the mind-trap, the idea of using the elevator seemed fitting”. Marc’s response was very positive. He liked the idea of the space and the implied meanings because it worked with his ideas: “I'm definitely going to focus on similar themes, although maybe on the more personal end of things - themes of being lost, alienated, stuck inside one's head.” Although we both didn’t have video footage to share with the other person, the idea was very clear and seemed to work easily on both ends. Therefore, we started discussing a possible idea of the video footage. We both agreed that it would be nicer if it was a mix of his footage and my footage as opposed to keeping the videos separate. This would also create more of a feeling of entrapment, confusion and struggle.
Once I got to use the actual space, I had some issues to overcome before starting to explore the space. First the question: which elevator to use. I couldn’t use the elevator in my building. Although it is very small, it doesn’t have sliding doors which I didn’t like, because I wanted to play with the doors of the elevator. If possible. I thought originally that each time the door closes and re-opens, I could do the same movements in a more distorted manner. Or change clothes. In some way imply behavioural change. Because my camera man had very limited time, I decided to use an elevator on Campus, since he would be there anyways. At first I thought of using another elevator than the one I finally chose because I had forgotten about this one. But that would have been difficult because this elevator is used publicly. So when I arrived on Campus, I remembered that be have a big elevator leading from our Blackbox to our studio. None of the rooms were booked which meant that no one would use the elevator. However, the elevator was full of chairs which were left there from a performance. It took me forever to store them; the sensors of the elevator didn’t seem to mind a moving person and the doors closed many times with me or a chair in between. Which made me realise that it wouldn’t be easy to shoot my piece if the doors would close every 5 seconds. However, once I had emptied the elevator and prepared everything for the shooting, I found the solution: just turn the elevator off by turing the key inside it. Magic. It worked.
The elevator was bigger than what I needed it to be; it had more space available, and so it didn’t “create” a feeling of entrapment. However, it still gave me boundaries that I had to respect. I used some of the material that I had come up with during my solo exploration but never used for my actual piece. The movements automatically changed a bit, since I had to adapt them to the new space. This stimulated new ideas and movements. I usually work with improvisation and if I like something, I develop it. This time, the same applied. I took 15 minutes for myself while my friend tried a few shots with the camera in order to focus and in order to see where to place it best for which shots. And then we started filming. My friend wanted to do some close ups of my hand and foot and even my face which could create dramatic tension. It was fun to film the piece in more detail, unlike during rehearsals, where we just have one person following what is happening on stage without being able to come up close and film something specific.
Once I had the material I needed, I sent it to Marc. Luckily, Marc has some experience in editing and so he offered to edit the final movie. I had not yet seen his work, but the next day he showed me what he had come up with so far. The material he shared with me was not his final material as he also needed the help of a friend to film his piece in a better and more specific angle. However, I saw already some similar movements. And I liked the space(s) that Marc had used: they were really dark, and created a very ominous sensation. And the little light that was provided created nice shapes and shadows. I gave Marc some feedback on little things that he wasn’t sure yet. For example, there was a chair at some point that he thought should be removed. In my opinion, the chair created dramatic tension and only by changing the way the chair was placed it could become even more intense. Marc liked the idea, and he said he would explore it. Seeing our material for the first time was really nice and it gave us immediately some ideas for the edit. As we had established before, we wanted a blending of both videos. I thought that maybe there could be moments where there would be an overlay of both his and my footage, slowly blending from one into the other. And I wanted to use my beginning (or all of my work) upside down, creating a surreal world. This led to Marc’s idea that his footage, his movements could be the visual representation of my thoughts. We both were really excited talking about it. However, not being able to edit the film together was a little difficult and sad. Because I really enjoyed talking with Marc. And I was sure that while editing we would be able to come up with more ideas. But I trusted Marc to do the job perfectly well. We had discussed it in detail, we had matching subjects, we shared a common idea.
If we had been given more time, I think that we could have shown each other different interpretations of the same space, or in my case use different elevators to see how this would influence my movements. I believe that we could have developed our idea better and create a more in depth research of space and body. The lack of time took away the ability to really focus on how the space influenced my movements. However, I believe that we have managed to communicate easily with each other and that we connected both personally and creatively. Given the amount of time available, I believe that we have given our best.
